Banquillpog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful newt.

Banquillpog created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Banquillpog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Banquillpog, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Banquillpog's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Banquillpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never wear orange trousers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.