Zengupflow is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, passionate guinea pig.

Zengupflow created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zengupflow, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zengupflow, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zengupflow's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zengupflow's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five badgers approach from the west.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must never eat strawberries.