Straglatnell is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonourable hedgehog.

Straglatnell created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Straglatnell, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Straglatnell, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Straglatnell's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Straglatnell's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Straglatnell.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never feed parsnips to frogs while wearing orange stockings.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.