Japwattifyogyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing giraffe.

Japwattifyogyarp created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japwattifyogyarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Japwattifyogyarp, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Japwattifyogyarp's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Japwattifyogyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.