Mobbemlen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unfair ferret.

Mobbemlen created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Mobbemlen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobbemlen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mobbemlen's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Mobbemlen's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mobbemlen.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. You must pray to Mobbemlen six times a day.