Jipwipmon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous weasel.

Jipwipmon created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipwipmon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jipwipmon, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jipwipmon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jipwipmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Put Jipwipmon first in all things.

3. Never feed bananas to frogs while wearing mauve rings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.