Pak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, temperamental crane.

Pak created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pak, she will turn you into a rock.

Pak's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Pak loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about comets.