Japjoppon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust beaver.

Japjoppon created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japjoppon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Japjoppon, he will turn you into a rock.

Japjoppon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Japjoppon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Run away from violet doves, for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.