Labwotquart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish fly.

Labwotquart created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labwotquart, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Labwotquart, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Labwotquart's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Labwotquart's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from gray porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Pray towards the east.