Haktipgem is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating warg.

Haktipgem created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Haktipgem, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Haktipgem, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Haktipgem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Haktipgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Worship no other gods but Haktipgem.

4. Hide from turquoise geese for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.