Loopbunrutnattun is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, astonishing dugong.

Loopbunrutnattun created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbunrutnattun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopbunrutnattun, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Loopbunrutnattun's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Loopbunrutnattun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.