Quarttikgub is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, egotistical eagle.

Quarttikgub created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttikgub, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quarttikgub, she will turn you into a tree.

Quarttikgub's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Quarttikgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Run away if eight goats approach from the east.

5. Never talk about snails.