Padquartxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, resourceful hydra.

Padquartxuc created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padquartxuc, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Padquartxuc, she will turn you into a rat.

Padquartxuc's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Padquartxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Worship no other gods but Padquartxuc.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Padquartxuc must be the most important thing in your life.