Quafcumflan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking fairy.

Quafcumflan created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcumflan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quafcumflan, it will strike you with lightening.

Quafcumflan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Quafcumflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.