Parkcebhen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unsympathetic crocodile.

Parkcebhen created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkcebhen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Parkcebhen, she will turn you into a slug.

Parkcebhen's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Parkcebhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help horses in need.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide if nine otters approach from the east.