Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omniscient gerbil.

Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart, he will turn you into a goat.

Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Homhakcemvon Lablopbug Lakartyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about galaxies.