Stiplarncip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, flying monkey.

Stiplarncip created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiplarncip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Stiplarncip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stiplarncip's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Stiplarncip's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect four silicon sculptures of Stiplarncip on top of important buildings.

3. Do not hurt turtles.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Always wear red.