Rutvagfid is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent gnu.

Rutvagfid created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutvagfid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rutvagfid, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rutvagfid's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Rutvagfid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine gold sculptures of Rutvagfid on top of important buildings.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if six sheep approach from the south.