Yattmapdun is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fussy faun.

Yattmapdun created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattmapdun, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yattmapdun, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yattmapdun's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yattmapdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Yattmapdun loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.