Bellfutbig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart raccoon.

Bellfutbig created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellfutbig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bellfutbig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bellfutbig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bellfutbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not hurt swans.