Yikdossfom is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, omniscient raven.

Yikdossfom created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yikdossfom, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yikdossfom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yikdossfom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yikdossfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Never sit near nematodes.

4. Run away from red great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.