Sompagquart is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, charitable spider.

Sompagquart created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sompagquart, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sompagquart, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sompagquart's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sompagquart's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sompagquart.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sompagquart.