Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage goose.

Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik's Holy Commandments

1. Damgesskem Lunkonnuryik loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.