Afbogvog is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy bat.

Afbogvog created the Sunflower Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afbogvog, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Afbogvog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Afbogvog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Afbogvog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Run away from brown otters, for they are unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Never talk about squirrels.