Gilhimfot is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, smart squirrel.

Gilhimfot created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Gilhimfot, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gilhimfot, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gilhimfot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gilhimfot's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never laugh in the presence of geese.