Dumsandquat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental gnu.

Dumsandquat created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumsandquat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumsandquat, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dumsandquat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dumsandquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not hurt capybaras.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.