Bapyarljen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, loving tapir.

Bapyarljen created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Bapyarljen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bapyarljen, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bapyarljen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bapyarljen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never run near goats.