Damminfetfoss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous frog.

Damminfetfoss created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Damminfetfoss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Damminfetfoss, he will turn you into a goat.

Damminfetfoss' most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Damminfetfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the east.

5. Never look at moons.