Kimcabtag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, confident dolphin.

Kimcabtag created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimcabtag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kimcabtag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kimcabtag's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Kimcabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never laugh near ducks.

3. Never feed limes to swans while wearing red scarves.

4. Do not take Kimcabtag's name in vain.

5. Respect your elders.