Tailwitjop is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited guinea pig.

Tailwitjop created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailwitjop, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tailwitjop, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tailwitjop's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tailwitjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never paint your face brown.

5. Tailwitjop loves moths, so they must be honoured.