Gessjopapp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet mink.

Gessjopapp created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessjopapp, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gessjopapp, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gessjopapp's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gessjopapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Run away from orange gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Erect four gold sculptures of Gessjopapp on top of important buildings.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Never feed rice to ants while wearing blue shoes.