Pankonlad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered crab.

Pankonlad created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pankonlad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pankonlad, she will strike you with lightening.

Pankonlad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Pankonlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pankonlad.

5. Never hurt pigs.