Fasponfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate shrew.

Fasponfun created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasponfun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fasponfun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fasponfun's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fasponfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Always help dolphins in need.