Gidwegrak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable slug.

Gidwegrak created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidwegrak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gidwegrak, he will turn you into a dog.

Gidwegrak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gidwegrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Never bounce in holy places.