Tonnadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic crocodile.

Tonnadnurt created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonnadnurt, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tonnadnurt, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tonnadnurt's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tonnadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about asteroids.