Gilquillquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered fish.

Gilquillquaf created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilquillquaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gilquillquaf, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gilquillquaf's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gilquillquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Always help sick frogs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about gravity.