Safsomrat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet jellyfish.

Safsomrat created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safsomrat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Safsomrat, he will ignore you.

Safsomrat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Safsomrat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Safsomrat.

2. You must love Safsomrat.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.