Pakbidlak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish pigeon.

Pakbidlak created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Pakbidlak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pakbidlak, he will turn you into a sheep.

Pakbidlak's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Pakbidlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never paint your chest yellow.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Hide from indigo doves for they are unholy.