Habfagfat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, two-faced lobster.

Habfagfat created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habfagfat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Habfagfat, he will refuse to believe in you.

Habfagfat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Habfagfat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Never paint your chest green.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.