Cimxenlun Yattbodsin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered gnu.

Cimxenlun Yattbodsin created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimxenlun Yattbodsin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cimxenlun Yattbodsin, he will send you a sign.

Cimxenlun Yattbodsin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Cimxenlun Yattbodsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed beans to porpoises while wearing yellow trousers.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.