Ladkinbonkstik is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage slug.

Ladkinbonkstik created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladkinbonkstik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ladkinbonkstik, it will not care at all.

Ladkinbonkstik's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Ladkinbonkstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

2. You must love Ladkinbonkstik.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.