Stanlennat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, effective gerbil.

Stanlennat created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlennat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stanlennat, he will turn you into a puffin.

Stanlennat's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Stanlennat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. You must pray to Stanlennat five times a day.

5. Do not speak about apples.