Sawmatren Wothudquag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating gnu.

Sawmatren Wothudquag created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawmatren Wothudquag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sawmatren Wothudquag, he will turn you into a snail.

Sawmatren Wothudquag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sawmatren Wothudquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured capybaras.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never bounce in the presence of birds.