Jadpanglik is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, slow ferret.

Jadpanglik created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadpanglik, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jadpanglik, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jadpanglik's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jadpanglik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Put Jadpanglik first in all things.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect three nickel sculptures of Jadpanglik on top of important buildings.