Legfitbag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, grumpy fly.

Legfitbag created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legfitbag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Legfitbag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Legfitbag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Legfitbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta boots.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Hide from green squirrels for they are unholy.