Tonktomflig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful grasshopper.

Tonktomflig created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktomflig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tonktomflig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tonktomflig's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tonktomflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.