Cetlamfon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, clever rhinoceros.

Cetlamfon created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetlamfon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cetlamfon, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cetlamfon's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cetlamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Never sing in the presence of dolphins.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always wear cyan.