Tarfobquag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever badger.

Tarfobquag created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarfobquag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarfobquag, he will make you grow a tail.

Tarfobquag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tarfobquag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never bounce near grasshopers.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Never jump in the presence of goats.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.