Ripcinduss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, egotistical tortoise.

Ripcinduss created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Ripcinduss, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripcinduss, it will be very sad.

Ripcinduss' most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ripcinduss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six dogs approach from the south.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Worship no other gods but Ripcinduss.