Getgatven is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthinking goblin.

Getgatven created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getgatven, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Getgatven, he will turn you into a mole.

Getgatven's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Getgatven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always look after injured aardvarks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Getgatven on top of all buildings.